WSJ: Why Relaxing Is Hard Work

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You're on Vacation, but the Brain Is Wired to the Office; Some Tactics to Detach



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By MELINDA BECK

The water's blue, the waves are lapping. Geez, it's hot. Do I have enough sunscreen on? Why did I wear this bathing suit? How long have we been here? I wonder what's happening at the office. Have they finished that project? Where is that cellphone? Wait, don't tell me there's no service!



Can't slow down? Even on vacation? You've got plenty of company.



Only 53% of working Americans say they come back feeling rested and rejuvenated after vacation, and 30% say they have trouble coping with work stress while they're away, according to an Expedia.com survey of 1,530. Some try to cram in so much activity that they come back more exhausted than when they left. Others stay so plugged on BlackBerrys and cellphones that colleagues and clients don't even suspect they're away.

Are You a Workaholic?



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Are you a hard worker or a real workaholic? Experts say the distinction has less to do with the hours you work than the attitude behind them. Rate yourself on the Work Addiction Risk Test.



"It's been my experience that an 'out of office' response means nothing anymore," says Edward T. Creagan, a medical oncologist who writes the Mayo Clinic's stress blog. "We're driving ourselves wacko with no time to power down."



Attempting to relax even makes some people sick. Some 3% of the population suffers from "leisure sickness" when they go on vacation. Symptoms include fatigue, muscle pain, nausea and flu-like symptoms, according to a 2002 study in the Netherlands. And a phenomenon of "weekend headaches" accounts for roughly one-third of all migraines and one-sixth of tension headaches.



Faced with a threatening situation, the body's primitive "fight or flight" mechanism pumps out adrenaline that primes the body for action, raising the heart rate, tensing muscles and slowing digestion. But when the threat is an impending layoff or demanding client, the state of alarm never dissipates, raising the risk for high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes, chronic pain and a weakened immune system. It can also bring on depression, anxiety and exhaustion.

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For some people, the withdrawal of stress can be similar to withdrawing from steroids—including changes in glucose metabolism and dramatic mood swings, says Conor Liston, a psychiatry resident at Weill Medical College in New York City who was the lead investigator of a brain study on stress.



Other people seem to get so addicted to the adrenaline rush from stress that they gravitate to high-pressure jobs and keep piling on new challenges; some subconsciously push deadlines and complicate projects, creating stress unnecessarily.



Put someone like that on a beach for a week, and it's no wonder they can't relax. For them, the best vacations involve physical or mental stimulation, anything from hang-gliding to culinary classes.

[HEALTHCOL] Roberto Parada



"I can sit on a beach for, like, 15 minutes, then it's 'OK, what's next?' " says Vaughn Payne, a cardiologist in eastern Kentucky who runs four to six miles most weekdays before doing hospital rounds, seeing 30 or more patients and studying for his M.B.A. at night. "He'll occasionally sit in front of the TV—with his pager on one armrest, his cellphone on the other and his laptop in his lap," laughs his wife, Debby.



Of course, many people who work hard can disengage when they want to. "The hard worker in the office is dreaming about being on the ski slope. The workaholic is on the ski slope dreaming about being in the office," says Bryan E. Robinson, author of "Chained to the Desk, a Guidebook for Workaholics." He says true workaholics are driven less by real workplace demands than by low self-esteem and fear of inadequacy. They bring all those feelings with them on vacation, along with added guilt of being away.



"For a lot of workaholics, work alleviates anxiety, and when you are not working, the anxiety bubbles up," says Dr. Robinson, who says that he used to pretend to rest—and secretly work instead—while his family went to the beach. "It calmed me down, like a drink calms an alcoholic," he says. He hit bottom when his partner left him in 1983 and he sought help in therapy and Workaholics Anonymous.



The author of 25 books on psychology and family, Dr. Robinson, professor emeritus at University of North Carolina at Charlotte estimates that about one-quarter of the population could be classified as workaholic, though it comes in varying degrees. One version is the workaholic who is physically on vacation but mentally still at work. "He may be playing catch with his daughter, but his mind is somewhere else. And she can probably tell, even though she's only 7," he says.



Some vacationing workers insist they can be "present" when it counts and still stay connected.



"It's not the worst situation in the world to be lying on a beach, drinking a margarita, keeping up with email," says Erika Soto Lamb, an executive at public-relations company Ketchum who went to Zihuatanejo, Mexico, with her husband over Memorial Day to celebrate their anniversary. (She left her cellphone behind during their anniversary dinner.) "I'm doing preventative stress so that when I come back on Monday morning, I can get right back into the game instead of having to read a million emails," she says.

Journal Community



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“ Always remember... while you're on vacation, goofing off, someone is in the office doing your work and angling for your job. But don't let that keep you from having fun! ”



—James M. Smith



Indeed, many experts think that checking in with the office occasionally can be less stressful than anxiously wondering what's going on. "Feeling out of control is always stressful," says Paul J. Rosch, president of the American Institute of Stress. "But do try to make it a limited time—like 9 to 10 a.m. and 5 to 6 p.m.," says the Mayo Clinic's Dr. Creagan. "Then say, 'Regardless of what is happening, I am unplugging that little torture device.' "



What is the ideal vacation for someone who needs to relax but has trouble doing so?



Try something new. Learning something in a new place can be more relaxing and refreshing than trying to do nothing. While it's good to get outside your comfort zone, it's not necessary to explode out of it. "I don't want to go bungee jumping," says Matthew Edlund, a sleep expert in Sarasota, Fla., and author of "The Power of Rest" who says he'd much prefer walking through Berlin or Beijing. "You decide what your level of adventurousness is and do it."

By the Numbers



* 3%: Suffer from 'leisure sickness' on vacation. Signs include fatigue, muscle pain, nausea and flu-like symptoms.

* 19%: Have canceled or postponed vacation plans due to work.

* 56%: Say they are more in need of a vacation than in past years.



Have a plan, but be flexible. Completely winging it somewhere can be stressful, so have a rough idea of what you're going to do, but be willing to change it. "If you find that you're on a beach and you're bored out of your mind, get up and do something else," says Dr. Edlund.



Get physical. Besides releasing endorphins, exercise also burns off excess adrenaline and cortisol. The "flight" can be on the treadmill, after all. If you haven't been exercising, a vacation can be a good time to start. Even a walk on the beach can be invigorating for a chaise potato. At the other extreme, some people relax by doing marathons or triathlons. But overdoing it be stressful as well.



"We really weren't meant to sit at a desk 12 hours a day," says Dr. Edlund, who recommends that vacationers alternate periods of "food, activity and rest."



Build in a buffer. Don't work right up until the moment you leave and head back to work right off the plane. If possible, schedule an extra day off before you depart and another when you come back to dive back in slowly.



Manage expectations. Make sure your colleagues and clients know that you'll be away and checking in only occasionally; tell those back home the kind of matters you want to be bothered about.



Breathe. As New Agey as it sounds, meditating and paced breathing can stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, which works to balance the surges of adrenaline and cortisol that accompany stress, says Dr. Rosch.



Practice mindfulness: Research suggests that focusing the mind on the present moment can have profound effects. Mostly, it involves observing your surrounds without making judgments. Try observing your own feelings.



"Work on not working," says Dr. Robinson. "With five minutes to think, ask yourself, 'Why do I work this way? Why am I rushing?' Most of us keep judging ourselves all the time, workaholics especially. It's never enough. Examine those feelings. They might lead you to enlightenment."



Write to Melinda Beck at HealthJournal@wsj.com

WSJ: Standout Letters to Cover Your Bases

Thank you for your time with my blogs and welcome back in the near future.


March 9, 2010, WSJ

It's something job seekers often wonder: Do you really need to submit a cover letter with your résumé?
Tim Bower
Some hiring managers confess to ignoring these introductory notes, while others say they read them attentively. Hiring managers say that despite the vast advice available on writing cover letters, many job hunters don't submit them. But applicants who take the time to craft a cover letter stand a fair chance at setting themselves apart.
And given the stiff competition for jobs these days, career experts say writing an introductory note may be worth the effort, especially for career-changers and individuals whose résumés show a red flag, such as an employment gap.
To make a favorable impression, hiring managers say job hunters should craft different letters for every application and tailor them to both the employer and position they're targeting. Cover letters should be brief, says David Loeser, executive vice president, human resources, for baked-goods company Hostess Brands Inc. in Dallas.
One way to customize a cover letter is to reference an employer's products or services or point out content on its Web site. Another is to comment on a trend within the organization's industry. If you know the name of the hiring manager for the position or a human-resources manager at the firm, you should address him or her directly and—whenever possible—acknowledge something personal about the individual.
High-Priority Candidate
Last spring, a job hunter wrote in a cover letter to Chris Willis, vice president of human resources and general counsel for Dallas-based distributor Interstate Battery System of America Inc., about how he had just graduated from Mr. Willis's alma mater. The job hunter, who was seeking a legal position, also noted Mr. Willis's involvement in the Texas General Counsel Forum, a trade group. Mr. Willis says Interstate Battery didn't any have any legal jobs open at the time, and still doesn't, but the writer will "be top of mind" whenever one is available. "We'll keep him on file in a database of high potentials that get higher priority when it comes to recruiting," Mr. Willis says.
To customize a letter for a particular position, applicants should show how their backgrounds line up with the requirements outlined in the job description.
"With a cover letter, you can get more context than you might get in a résumé," says Craig Campbell, director of staffing for Dolby Laboratories Inc., an entertainment-technology company in San Francisco.
A recent applicant for a director of business-development position at Dolby described how his background matched the four qualifications listed in the ad for the job, says Mr. Campbell, adding that the applicant was granted an interview.
Cover letters also are ideal for clearing up anything in a résumé that might confuse or concern recruiters. Clare Shanahan, senior director of talent acquisition for Fireman's Fund Insurance Co., a high net worth insurer in Novato, Calif., says she recently received a cover letter from a job hunter that explained why his résumé didn't list an employer after 2008: He had spent the past 18 months unsuccessfully trying to launch a business.
"It showed that he was honest and entrepreneurial," she says, adding that she extended this person an interview invite for a senior-level sales and marketing position at Fireman's Fund. "Had he not done that, there would've been too much room for doubt."
Similarly, Natalia Schultz, chief talent officer for Grey Group, a New York-based advertising firm, says she granted an interview to an industry outsider after reading the person's cover letter about why she wanted to change careers and join Grey in particular. "It was such an incredibly compelling note that I had to meet her," she says.
No Mistakes
Make sure every cover letter is error-free or your hard work could backfire. About 20% of applications for jobs at Fireman's Fund include introductory notes, says Ms. Shanahan. Of those, she estimates 30% contain mistakes, most commonly because they're addressed to the wrong company or recruiters' names are misspelled.
Sloppiness can automatically eliminate an applicant from consideration, says Ms. Shanahan. "The person's résumé and credentials would have to be really outstanding to compensate, and many recruiters may not look past the cover letter to make that assessment," she says. Factual, spelling and grammatical gaffes indicate "a lack of attention to detail," she adds.
Cookie-cutter cover letters also can derail an applicant's shot at landing an interview. "I can tell if it's a form letter and they just inserted my name or my agency," says Ms. Schultz. "I'm immediately turned off." An original, but lackluster cover letter will likely generate the same reaction, she adds. "If it's boring, I don't want to meet you," she says.
Job hunters should further keep in mind that many employers use tracking software to store and share information about applicants and can therefore tell if someone submitted the same exact cover letter for more than one position.
And while mailing handwritten cover letters through the postal service may be a way to avoid this, recruiters say doing so is unlikely to win their favor anyway.
What's more, even sending a well-crafted note this way, rather than via email, also may not be wise since doing so prevents recruiters from forwarding it to other decision makers.